I still do a double take when I hear the phrase “Talk to you soon”. It really confused me quite a bit when I first moved to the US because sometimes, I would not talk to that person again for a week or even longer! It took me not too long to realize that it is just a way to end a conversation and does not necessarily implicate the plan to actually talk soon – it may happen, or it may not. Also confusing was the friendly “Hello, how are you?” when entering a store. I never knew how to reply to that and always felt awkward. Now I know that in those cases it’s just a form of greeting and it’s completely ok to just reply “Good” (even if that is not really the case).
I knew English from taking it in school for eight years before moving to the US. Coming here though took my understanding (or not understanding) to a whole new level. And I did not understand quite a bit – everyone was talking so fast and not everyone learned the same English I learned in school (I was convinced of that). The absolute highlight was when I was finally able to turn the subtitles on the TV off. Now I can hardly believe that was ever necessary. But it did prove the point that you need to use a language to become good at it. Maybe some people don’t need that but I certainly do.
Sometimes I still feel like some things are lost in translation and there may be certain nuances that I don’t catch. I am afraid that happens in both languages these days. After 17 years in the US my German is still ok (and I am happy to report my friends in Germany are still surprised when I talk without an American accent) but using it almost the whole day (except at home) sometimes the English word comes faster than the German one. This still happens the other way around, too. My husband is German as well and we speak it at home with each other and the kids, but we developed our own little Germanglish vocabulary what is kind of fun (even though I sometimes forget that it’s a made-up word and my German and/or American friends look at me confused).
Explaining something at work comes more natural in English for sure. From every once in a while we will have a German student in the lab but when I try to explain an experiment to them I always switch to English.
I am sorry to report I still have my German accent and mispronounce a word here and there to the amusement of my kids. I think I am one of those people who always will. But that’s ok. Living in the Bay Area and working at a university it does not really stick out that much as it is a very international crowd in general.
I was a little worried when the kids started school that they would have a hard time with English since we were speaking German at home and at least my daughter did not know much English at first since her preschool was in Japanese. I am happy to report they are doing just fine. It actually requires way more effort to keep up their German over time.
Have you learned another language in school, and did you get to use it at some point? Maybe on vacation or an extended stay in another country?
Home here and there 
I love these stories and how the experience with languages is so individual. I’ve only lived in the US for a year during my high school time but ever since I am loving to speak English. I mostly read English books and we mainly watch English tv shows. And my husband and I actually sometimes can not think of the word in German. So much so that I made a conscious effort to read more German books and write more German as well. But I can see that it is a weird mixture when you are speaking German at home and all other areas its English. I also understand that certain areas are solely reserved for one language. I used to play volleyball in a team with mainly Russian speaking people. Some terms I just down know in any other language. So weird.
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I mostly read English books now, too and watch the shows in English. Besides easier to come by (we live in the US after all) for some books at least the original feels more right whereas the translation falls short. Same goes for dubbed shows. Sometimes I convince my son to watch a German version on Netflix and the other time he complained that “it sounds weird”.
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One of my regrets in life is not doing more work with language skills. My husband has a natural talent for picking up languages, but I only speak English.
I’ve worked on French a few times (and lived in Montreal for a summer), but…I could barely order a cup of coffee. Maybe a goal for retirement?
My sister-in-law is Danish and speaks 4 (or 5?) languages fluently and can get by in several others. It boggles my mind and makes me so impressed, but I know it’s encouraged from a young age in Denmark and there are a lot of language requirements/opportunities in their schooling system.
Language is fascinating to me and while I know the perfect response when someone asks how you’re doing is “Good” – it always makes me feel a little sad to answer that if I’m having a bad day. It’s so ingrained in our culture to exchange those pleasantries, but sometimes I think it would be preferable if we could all be a little bit more honest (or not be asked a question like that so frequently).
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To learn more languages is always a good plan 😉.
One thing that became pretty obvious with my kids though is that to some language comes easier than others. My daughter has not problems with the two languages and was able to speak a little Japanese after her preschool years (what she now can’t remember anymore), but my son has a much harder time. He never learned Japanese even though he heard it quite a bit at a young age and would definitely prefer to only speak English when given the choice. He is my little math wiz.
It’s interesting that you also feel the sadness on a bad day that comes with the question “How are you doing”. I would have thought that it comes natural if you grow up with it. I console myself that those little pleasantries make life a little more pleasant especially after coming back from a trip to Germany and being ignored by workers in some stores. As long as I have people in my life that do want an honest answer I can live with it. And be assured, if I ever ask the question here on the blog I am expecting just that 😊
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I have been studying Spanish via Duolingo for several years, but it’s the same as immersion in a place where they speak it. I’m envious of people who speak lots of languages and I think it’s super smart to raise your kids to be multi-lingual. It will definitely serve them well in the globalized world.
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That’s what I keep reminding my son of whenever he complains about German school. I agree, it’s hard to learn a language when you don’t have to use it on a regular basis. One of these days I want to learn Spanish, too. I have quite few friends who are Spanish speakers and it would be really useful in California.
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Haha, I realize we have so much in common (since we’ve both lived in the US for almost 20 years)… I remember a specific situation (shortly after I met Jon), when he said to me “I’ll call you later”… and I was literally expecting in a few hours on the same day. He didn’t call for two days! I was so confused 😉
It’s super-interesting to me how you can translate something almost literally from one language to another and STILL not get the complete meaning/context.
I studied English in college, so I knew the language quite well when I came here, but “knowing” it and actually “living” it, is still two very different things.
I honestly refuse now to watch any dubbed movies/tv shows when I am in Germany. The translations are so bad (sometimes).
My husband took German classes in College and his German is pretty good. Sometimes we watch German movies on Netflix (with English subtitles) and even he can now point out when a translation did not carry the same meaning as the original. I wonder sometimes if people who do the subtitles have ever lived in an English-speaking country and know these differences?)
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I do have a hard time with the dubbed versions now, too. We sometimes will use them just to get the kids exposed to more German but even they say it sounds wrong sometimes. I wonder if some of the subtitles are machine generated? Sometimes I sure hope so 😂
Even for books I rather read the original these days.
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I LOVE this topic. I don’t speak anything other than English, so I can only imagine how hard it is to speak two languages. I lived and worked in Germany for a few years when I was younger, and I was so impressed by how well everyone spoke English- sometimes I felt like the Germans spoke English better than I did.
I’m reading a fascinating book right now called “Babel” by R.F. Kuang which is kind of a pseudo-history/fantasy novel and one of the themes is words in different languages and what’s lost in the translation. So this subject has been on my mind lately- i enjoyed reading this post.
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I am glad you enjoyed the post! The book you are reading sounds interesting indeed. I think I am putting it on my books to read list. So thank you for that 😊
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Being bi-lingual would be so good but it certainly is hard to pick up another language and get past the basics.
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I know how hard it is all too well. I tried to get into learning Spanish and it just did not happen (yet). But I guess if you never start it never anywhere? Even if you understand other languages a little, it is already great and I found that people in other countries are really appreciative if you only know a little of their language – and if it’s only saying please and thank you 😉
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I can only imagine how difficult it is to learn all the different idioms and idiosyncracies of language, especially the English language. There’s nothing quite like fully immersing yourself in a different country’s language! I only speak English and have tried to learn Spanish a few times, but it is just so hard to learn a new language, especially as an adult.
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Yes, I completely agree that it is hard especially you don’t really get to practice much by speaking. I caught myself thinking that maybe I should sign up for an in person class and that would be easier? Would definitely hold me more accountable.
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