Reflections – Page 6 – Home here and there

No work Friday

I was really glad for this Veteran’s Day Friday. I went back to work yesterday after getting back home Wednesday late afternoon. Everyone was surprised to see me since they were thinking I would only be back Monday. But since I did go back Thursday I did not have a whole lot of time to sort everything away, so I finished that up today.

Before getting started on the sorting I made breakfast for the kids since they had the day off, too. We had pancakes with apples. My husband did have to work today. I also fed my sourdough which was luckily still alive. It’s at that stage where it does not need to be refreshed every week what really helps. After all this I cleaned up the kitchen and took care of the dishes. We don’t have a dishwasher so hand washing it is for me. We have an old kitchen with shallow countertops so it would require some more extensive work to make room for one – I just don’t want to deal with it right now.

Unpacking round one took care of the suitcase contents. I already put away clothing on Wednesday night but the extra sweets and other goodies had find a home, too. Haribo Pico Balla is the family favorite and always has to be brought back. I found some paint brushes that were basically brand new, other small craft supplies, small pliers a pink leather satchel, a sponge, muffin pan liners, an ocarina someone in the household is playing nonstop (I regretted bringing it for a short moment but it’s also very sweet listening to the playing) – it’s really weird what stays behind after all these years. My sister gave us an advent calendar that I took of course. I can’t believe we are so close to december. I found another book that I thought my kids might like. My mother in law bought me a magazine that had some cookie recipes I might try out in the coming weeks and I also ordered a calendar that I may keep or may give away for Christmas.

Since I fed the sourdough I had some extra and decided to bake bread. It was ready just in time for lunch. There is nothing better than the smell (and taste) of bread fresh out of the oven in my opinion.

Unpacking round two involved the unpacking the three boxes I shipped. A former colleague who moved to France recommended ‘Send My Bag’ and since I did not want to deal with the boxes at the airport I gave it a try. DHL picked the boxes up and provided tracking throughout. It actually worked really well. The only downside was that they don’t recommend the service for anything fragile – I guess the pictures already tell you what I shipped. Most things made it but one of the boxes took a beating and some of its contents was broken. I see some mosaic making in my future but I was actually surprised that most of the china made it. The white one with the blue flowers I picked out with my mom and I am seriously sentimental about it (besides having a thing for nice china). Then I had to make room for it somehow and sorted and cleaned out the kitchen cabinets – one more box for a garage sale went into storage. Everything found a place and I vacuumed up the whole kitchen/dining/living room and hopefully got all the little china chips that I did not catch when pulling out the broken pieces. That pretty much filled the rest of the afternoon.

This was my Friday and now it’s almost time for bed. I don’t have specific weekend plans but I am sure we will fill it up with something. Do you usually plan out your weekend or just enjoy not having any plans?

Little small town in Lower Saxony

Last week was bittersweet for me. It was probably the last time I visited my childhood home since my dad will be moving before I can visit again in December. It was not as difficult to say goodbye as I feared. Maybe partly because I have been packing and re-packing my own boxes every time I came for a visit. I don’t have any close friends living there anymore and I am not planning to move back. Maybe the sadness will still come? I don’t know.

I loved growing up there and I am filled with memories. Memories of helping my grandma in the garden and my mom in her pottery studio, learning how to ride a bike and how to roller skate. I remember the tree in our backyard that we climbed with the neighborhood kids, endless games of hide and seek in the house and the garden, family gatherings, Christmas, baking cookies in the kitchen, birthday parties and the first heartache.

I also will remember the town itself. It’s small and when I was growing up everyone knew you, everyone greats each other on the street (and you better did this or your parents will hear about it if you didn’t). It only has about ~2100 people living there, but it has a supermarket, a church, a doctor, an elementary school, bus stops that take you to the next bigger city 13km away, a gas station, a volunteer run fire department, a sports field for soccer (honestly which small town does not in Germany?), tennis courts, a small skate park, a pool, a handcar you can try out and even a small heritage museum where you also can get married (also run by volunteers including my dad for a long time). It also used to have a bakery where you could get fresh rolls even before they officially opened when you went to the back where the oven was. There were summers filled with long pool days and camp from the church youth group, I played first recorder with a small group of other kids which was run by the wife of my music teacher and later trumpet with the brass orchestra from our church.

Wietzen is pretty much right between Hannover and Bremen but the next better known big city is Hamburg. So it is northern Germany. The dialect you may hear spoken there is low German. I can understand it when my dad speaks it with friends but I can’t speak it myself. My kids on the other hand will not know what their grandpa is talking about. There are certain words very different from the German you learn in school and they can even be different from town to town. My grandpa said that when the British soldiers came through at the end of World War II it was easier to communicate with them in low German because some words are similar.

So without further ado, here are a couple of pictures of my hometown before I fall asleep.

From above

Today was my travel day again with a pretty short connection in Munich so not much time to write. I spend the flight making progress on my latest knitting project (a scarf for my dad since he put the last one in the washing machine) while watching movies, reading and sleeping. I was very lucky today and had the whole three seats to myself. It made the whole flight so much more relaxing.

I took some pictures flying into SFO and hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed the view.

What we inherit

The picture is misleading. I don’t mean to say I inherited the contents of all the shelfs (I could have since the contents mostly will be cleared out by the time my dad moves out). What I want to talk about is a different thought of inheritance.

My husband always complains that I don’t express myself clearly enough and assume a lot of knowledge. So here is a conversation I had with my dad today:

“Dad, where is the painters tape.”
My dad replies: “It’s on the shelf in the basement.”

Above are mostly all the shelves in the basement. I found it, but I think I understand now what my husband is talking about.

Do you have habits you picked up from your parents?

Expat turned Immigrant

This is going to hopefully answer another set of questions I received:
I’d love to know more about how you feel about living in the States. Why did you decide to stay here instead of going back to Germany? What surprises you about living here? Are you ever planning on moving back to Europe?

On a trail in Tilden Park — Walk in Berkley’s Tilden Park in 2005

I guess I should start all the way back in 2005 when we first moved here. Back then it was pretty common to do a postdoc in the US if someone wants to work in academia (my husband). We came here with every intention to leave again and go back “home” to Germany or at least Europe after those 3-5 years that mentioned postdoc work was complete (is it ever though?). Never in my life would I have thought I would move to the US one day. I got on my first flight in my late 20s and the farthest away from home I moved was in the next bigger city (Hannover) which is only an hour away from my hometown.

It so happened that my husband was offered a really great opportunity where he did his postdoc that was not that easy to beat – and so it happened that we stayed longer than the 5 years planned. I still considered myself an expatriate – a person who lives outside their native country – and I still thought we would move back eventually. We had our kids in 2008 and 2011, they started daycare, preschool, school and before we knew it they are half grown. I had a really rough time in stretches because I don’t like living so far away from family but I also knew that if we moved back just because I pushed really hard and my husband would take a job he would not be happy with just to make me happy that would not go well either. So far it was just all coincident that we stayed (at least in my thinking). In 2018 we decided to move to a bigger house and ended up talking to a realtor to also look at houses to buy. That also made us talk about how we imagined our life to go in the next couple of years/decades to come. I think that was the point when the realization set in that we were here to stay and it helped me to settle this in my mind, too. So stepping into our very own house we became immigrants I guess – people who come to live permanently in a foreign country. Yes, it is a better career for my husband but also for me the work I am doing at the University offers better pay and more appreciation I could ever expect in Germany. After having visas and then green-cards all these years we applied first to keep our German citizenship and then also applied for the US citizenship. We were able to vote in the 2020 election for the first time and it felt so good to have a say in what happens in the country we call home now, too. I am still not ruling out that we move back at some point or back to Europe in general but I think we will stay for sure until the kids finish high school. They know German but they only know Germany from our summer visits and it would be hard on them now. You can have a really good life in Germany but we also have a really good life here. We are fortunate enough that we have good salaries, good retirement through our jobs and health insurance.

One thing that really surprised me is how international it is where we live. Since UC Berkeley and I guess the whole Bay Area attracts so many international students and workers it makes it very diverse and colorful. I have friends from Ukraine, Mexico, Brazil, France, Argentina and my kids went to a daycare run by an American-Japanese family. That is something I would miss would we move back to Germany.
A couple of other things I was surprised about:

Most restaurants closed at 9pm – why so early?
You finish eating and you will get the check right away – sometimes even before that. This really took some getting used to.
Learning English 9 years and then using the language every day are two very different things (subtitles were my friend and it really helped to get used to it).
You always have to add the tax to the prices.
How great the park system is. Besides the National Parks there are so many state parks.

I am pretty sure there are more that I don’t remember right now.

Are we ever moving back to Europe? I honestly don’t know. Maybe we do, maybe we don’t. It may depend where the kids end up? When I learned something in all this then it is that you can make plans and than life ends up completely different and not in a bad way at all. We very likely would have a reverse culture shock by now since time did not stand still over in Europe either. I hope that by the time we retire we still have some time to explore the world. A lot of our free time is spend with visiting family and exploring the US a little closer to home during the shorter breaks.

Did you end up in a place close to your family or do you happen to live far away, too? Are you planning to move in the coming years or do you think you will stay put?

Questions answered round 1

I did not get a whole lot of questions but thought I do answer a couple before I turn in for the night. It has been a busy day, with packing and moving things around, lunch with my aunt and uncle what was lovely, making plans which furniture my dad is going to take what things my brother wants to keep and so on.
Picture pretty unrelated but Germany feels like real fall now with falling leaves (and a lot of rain).

So here it goes round one:

Do you keep up with a lot of friends in Germany?
Today I met with a friend I know from high school, but as we were sitting together over dinner we tried to remember when we saw each other last and it was sometime before the pandemic. It was really fun and we had a good evening but in between those visits we only hear from each other occasionally. I have one friend who happens to live in the same town as my parents in-law now, what makes seeing her a lot easier. And she is also the one friend who will get in touch with me and not the other way around. It sometimes is a little exhausting as for most friendships I am the one who reaches out when we are visiting. It does make sense because how should they know when we are in Germany any other way but most also don’t check in with me. It still feels like nothing changed between us in all the time we don’t hear or see each other but we also miss a lot of the day to day things that make up life and change you so sometimes I wonder how well do we really still know us. On the other hand it makes it really interesting because it is a little like meeting a whole new person each time. It gets harder as time passes living so far away, but I think by now I am down to the friends who will stay with me. I am not constantly in touch but I know who I can call on to meet up and they will have time for me. It’s an effort but it’s an effort that is worth it. I probably should re-read this when I am ever in doubt about it.

Did you play any sports growing up?
Growing up I took ballet classes for a year. There was this really popular TV show called “Anna” about a girl who wanted to be a ballerina. Do you want to take a guess why I thought ballet was a good idea?
I also briefly tried jiu-jitsu and table tennis but it did not really stick.

Did you play any instruments?
I played the recorder and recently picked up alto recorder a little. I played piano on and off and even though I enjoy it and still play occasionally it’s just for me as relaxation – I just never was really good. I know a couple of guitar cords. And I also played trumpet in the local church brass orchestra and looking back I liked this best for the community.

Do you know this dish?

Does this look appetizing to you? To me it does not. It really does not look pretty. When my dad told me that my brother asked for Knipp for dinner I was taken a little aback honestly. The last time I had it was maybe 10 years ago. I did not like it when I was a kid and I did not like it 10 years back. But I guess it has grown on me since then (refined taste buds maybe?) even though it still looks like a grayish gooey mess.
Knipp is basically meat with grains, onions, and spices and according to the internet something very specific to Bremen and Lower Saxony in Germany. In the old days they used the leftover meat bits that could not be used for anything else and I am secretly imagining that this might have changed. In our house it is usually served with a very dark bread and pickled cucumbers (sour, not sweet). It was actually very good I thought.

When you buy Knipp at the meat counter you usually are confronted with a very big sausage kind of looking thing (about 10-15cm in diameter) and you can decide how big of a portion you want cut off. All you have to do for prep is fry it in a pan and you are done – so it is a very easy meal.

This is how it looks like when it is almost done. Some people like it gooey, some like it better when it is browned a bit (me please). Is it something my kids would eat? Likely not. It is not a choice for anyone vegetarian or vegan.

This suddenly reminds me: at our elemantary school we had a food challenge a couple of years for international night. We were presented with three interesting food choices of one specific country. I think Knipp would have been an excellent challenge option if Germany ever made it to the challenge.

Do you have an interesting delicacy where you are from?

Travel day to Germany

View from the plane

One reason I was reluctant to sign up for NaBloPoMo was that I already knew I would be traveling to Germany for a week. My dad is getting ready to move out of my childhood home and his home for over 50 years and I promised I help a bit. So the next days will be filled with sorting, deciding what will be packed to go with him, Sorting through the last remaining things I want to keep and saying good bye to my home town (more on this to come in another post).

Solo travel feels very special to me as I usually never get to do it these days. It involves quite a bit of planning ahead since I am the family organizer. I keep telling myself they will manage without me.

Back to travel day: Bags were packed the day before so everything was ready to go besides the last chargers and some food in case the airline falls short.
I left the house at 10am to be driven to the Bart station. Luckily the next train went straight to SFO so I did not have to change. I got there at 11:30am and only had to drop of my checked bags. Isn’t it amazing you can do most everything online now? It’s a nightmare for my 80 year old dad but I do appreciate not having to stay in line for an hour (or longer) to check in. By noon I was through security and went on a search for some lunch. At SFO we somehow always end up at the domestic terminal for that even flying internationally. Boarding started on time at 1:50pm. The flight was supposed to leave at 2:40pm but to no big surprise it took a little longer as we were still waiting for some passengers.

The flight itself was pretty uneventful. I am not very hopeful about food on United flights but this time the chicken curry was edible. I always wonder why they even bother with the roles as I think they are pretty disgusting (sorry). The flight to Munich takes about 10 hours and I spend my time knitting, reading,watching movies and writing back and forth with my family about a lost ID card I was sure I saw in the living room the day before. Unfortunately sleep was a short hour or so. Arrival in Munich was at ~9:50am the following day (Nov. 3rd) and everything worked like a charm. Passport control was a breeze, the new gate was posted and it was not to far and after another hour sleep on the plane to Hannover we touched down at 12:55pm. The bag was collected and my dad picked me up from the airport, hurray.

The drive to my hometown Wietzen takes another hour and we stopped for a late lunch on the way.

Jaegerschnitzel mit Pommes (Schnitzel with a mushroom gravy and fries)

We were back in the door at around 3:40pm German and currently 7:40am West Coast time. If my calculation is correct it was 21 hours, 40 minutes this time with no special surprises.

I did take a quick nap because 2 hours of sleep and fell asleep again on the couch after dinner. Wish me luck I can sleep tonight because I don’t handle jetlag very well. Any advice on that? Maybe there is something I have not tried yet but mostly I go with the flow these days.

Do you often get to travel solo and do you manage to pack light?

Any advice on how to deal with saying goodbye to your childhood home?

Introduction round

Hello lovely readers,

I thought since I usually don’t post that much during the year other than NaBloPoMo I start with a small introduction with 10 random facts about me that may help you to get to know me a little better.

I am originally from Germany.
I grew up in the northern German countryside, moved to the next bigger city for my education, worked a couple of years in that same city and moved to California in 2005 with my husband and like so many others around here we happen to stay.
I am a mom.
I have two very awesome kids (14 and 12). It’s a really big part of my life and they might come up in a side note but I decided to keep that part of my life offline. It’s tricky sometimes but I think it’s their life and therefore it should be their choice.
I am a scientist.
I wrote more about that at last year’s NaBloPoMo here.
I am middle aged.
Oh the joys of getting older but honestly most of the time I do like it. I know myself better and care less what other people think about me (the emphasis is on less here – don’t judge, it’s a work in progress).
I am not a morning person.
Don’t talk to me before I had my first cup of coffee.
I like to do things with my hands.
I have lots of handy hobbies, like knitting, sewing, gardening, painting, crafting. Take your pick.
I have a conflicting relationship with sports.
I know that exercise is good for me and I enjoy it when I started but it’s really hard for me to keep up a routine. With working, kids activities and home chores it seems a real effort to fit it in.
I tend to read the end of a book before it’s done.
A lot of people will think this is really a no go but if the book is too exciting I can’t stop reading which really is not good for my sleep. If the book is boring the end resolve helps me make a decision if I keep at it or not.
My favorite holiday season is Christmas.
I have so many sentimental memories of Christmas time and it’s just really big in Germany.
Black clothes make me feel safe.
I always had an attraction to black. It’s like an armour. I do like lots of other colors and they brighten up my dark wardrobe but on a difficult day – black it is.

Do you have a question for me or think I should write more about one of the facts please fill out this form to help me decide.

Now it’s you r turn. What is one random fact about yourself?

NaBloPoMo 2023

November 1st and here we are again. I participated in National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) last year and I had so much fun doing it. It was a real happiness boost for me during the shorter days even though it was also a lot of work but I so appreciated the connections happening. My online friend San over at the in between is mine is getting us organized again and I really want to give it a go a 2nd time around. She has a list of this years participants and also the ones from previous years.

Lesson learned from last year: 30 days is not enough to form a habit. I wanted to blog more but life had other plans. I have this tendency that if I have a lot on my mind I can’t or don’t want to talk about online I usually don’t at all. No worries, we are doing fine.

But onto a better and brighter month ahead! I did not make any plans for posts yet (I probably should have) but if everything fails I can always carry over my #project365 from Instagram. I enjoyed taking a picture each day this year. This is what I liked about Instagram in the first place – the pictures that give you a little glimpse into daily (or not so daily) life. Sometimes I had to play catch up because there were days filled with work where I just did not take a picture and I got tricked into creating a reel twice I believe but I almost made it.

I look forward to lots of reading blog posts and getting to meet old and new “faces” in the process.